San Francisco Bay Area, California
The Relationship Stay-or-Go Coach
Bio/My current passions:
I work with women who are struggling in their primary relationship, wondering whether to stay or to bring it to an end. I help them find their clear, whole-body answer and create a vibrant new way of living… with, or without, the partner.
I spent a long time in the limbo of indecision myself. When I emerged, I discovered how much I couldn’t see from the middle of it. It wasn’t my marriage that held me back as much as my own limited view of what was possible.
Now, guiding other courageous women across the bridge to clarity delights me. I work with people who know they are ready for change, even if they can’t imagine how that might work. With my help, they remodel their relationship for greater fulfillment or they make their exit in a conscious way.
I am trained and certified by The Coaches Training Institute (CTI), The Center for Right Relationship (CRR), and the Hendricks Institute. My work with Gay and Katie Hendricks in their Leadership and Transformation (LAT) Program has blown my coaching wide open with fun, laughter, and whole-body discovery. I love to speak and run workshops too.
I invite you to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
to schedule a complimentary Stay-or-Go Aha! Consultation on the phone. It will help you to:
Identify the ways that you are hooked on repeating patterns
Get clear on how you want your life to feel
Discover the #1 thing that keeps you stuck
Identify your empowered action path
When you complete the session, you will know your exact next step.
Life is now!
I am passionate about children growing up in safety, support, and love. I am passionate about all of us finding our way home to joy in being alive. I also love wilderness. It all fits together; whether it’s nature or human life, I want to see us flourish in our natural beauty. I focus my coaching on women facing the stay-or-go question in their relationships. When women break through that painful dilemma, they are uncovering their essence and healing themselves, their families, and their social groups.
What vision do you have for your life and your coaching practice?
My vision: I am nourished by delightful outdoor adventures and I am playfully connected with my family and my amazing network of friends. In my relationship coaching practice, I catalyze profound transformation every day. I have oodles of fun with my clients and brilliant leader buddies as we learn and grow beyond the brightest visions we hold. The perfect clients find me easily for coaching, workshops, and presentations. I have acclaimed relationship books and my income supports me and my peace-inducing projects. I am filled with love and vibrant energy as I age with grace. When I feel afraid, I take fear by the hand and keep going. And, my wildly delicious life partner and I co-create delight, discovery, and mutual support in ever-changing ways. That’s the vision! I celebrate living much of it now and enjoy the way the rest of it tugs me forward.
What are the top three things you love about coaching?
The intimacy of coaching interactions. People share their raw, real selves with me.
Clients’ “OMG, I never saw that before!!” moments-of-insight.
To watch transformation over time from confusion and stuckness to peace and opening to love.
Before I started coaching I …
was a Middle School Science Teacher. I loved creating hands-on investigative projects for my students. I had two science books published and was a leader in my school’s teacher mentoring program. When I began coaching, my underlying interest in people and their interactions had moved into top priority.
I am ever amazed at how I can … be instrumental in a client’s transformation without knowing much about the person’s life. Intuition, shared experience, and a few key words can bring us into synch.
Before I started coaching I … needed to have answers, to know where I was headed and how I was going to get there. Within the big-picture goals, I respond to what’s alive in the moment for my client, reflect, hold space, offer my intuitive hits, and follow urges that arise in the moment.
What makes you laugh?
Small moments of shared surprise, whole-hearted silliness, the absurdities of being human, and animals talking with a British accent on YouTube.
The legacy I want to leave behind is:
Hope, relief, laughter, and many, many, many people in THRIVING relationships… because they learned to love and honor their whole selves.
Who are your top three people you would want to coach and why?
Barack Obama in one because he would be so much fun and the results would ripple out so widely. Mission-driven leaders of families, communities, and organizations are my favorites to coach for that reason. Their state of being, burdened vs empowered, open vs closed, creative vs boxed-in affect the quality of life for so many. I like to coach women who, like me at one time, are frozen in uncertainty about staying in their primary relationship or ending it. When a person is really ready to make a change from that state, the opportunity for transformation is remarkable. The people that find me tend to be the perfect clients for me.
What were the greatest benefits you received from studying at the Hendricks Institute?
I continue to study with Gay and Katie, now in year two of their Leadership and Transformation program. The top change in me is my presence. I am so much more able to stay connected to myself while connecting authentically with others. This would not have occurred at this rate in any other program I can think of. I was a big self-critic. I got my sense of self-worth from hero-ing others and accomplishing stuff. I have set the hero down and, to my amazement and glee, I am interupting the reflex of self-criticism. All the lessons I’ve learned make learning the next thing easier, so the pace of my growth has accelerated. I am thrilled!
Being part of the fun and expansive Hendricks Leadership and Transformation (LAT) community is priceless in itself.
The movie that inspired me most was_______.Why? The Book?
The movie that inspired me recently was Searching for Sugar Man. Why? It’s an amazing, true story of a gentle and creative soul. And there’s a tremendous message underneath the story: The response you get or don’t get from people around you is NOT what you want to base your sense of worth upon. I loved it!
As a kid, I was most inspired by the Little House on the Prairie books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. They affirmed hard work, perseverance and conservation. Those lessons served me well until I discovered the “hard work” thing needed updating. I accomplish more when I pay attention to alignment, ease, and body wisdom. Gay and Katie have been my inspiration there in person and through their books like The Conscious Heart. Between childhood and recent years, The Artist’s Way inspired me to own my creativity.
What brings you the most joy in your day to day life?
Spontaneous laughter. It’s those moments with friends, family and clients when we just read one another’s minds and crack up together over something absurd. I have a one-year-old grandson. We make eye contact in a mischievous way and one of us goes running and the other one gives chase. A moment later the chaser becomes the chasee and we both squeal with excited laughter. It’s a riot.
Also I find joy in discovery. When I write an article or have a juicy conversation and my thoughts come together in a new way, I am delighted.
What ten things could you not do without?
Trails for hiking, biking, and skiing